Monkey (adult I suppose)

A guy walks into a pub with his pet monkey. He orders a pint, and while he's drinking, the monkey is jumping around all over the place. The monkey grabs some olives off of the bar and eats them. He then jumps on the pool table, grabs one of the balls and to everyone's amazement, swallows it whole.
The barman screams at the guy: ' Did you see what your monkey just did ?'
'No, what ?'
' He just ate the cue ball off my pool table !'
' Yeah, that doesn't surprise me,' replies the guy. ' He eats everything in sight. I'm sorry about that, I'll pay for the ball and other stuff.'
The guy finishes his drink, pays the bill and leaves.
Two weeks later the guy is in the bar again, and has his monkey with him. He orders a drink and the monkey starts running around the bar. The monkey picks up a cherry, sticks it up his bum, pull it out and eats it. The monkey then finds a peanut, again sticks this up his bum, pulls it out and eats it.
The barman is disgusted. ' Did you see what your monkey did ?'
' No,' replied the man.
' Well, he stuck a cherry and then a peanut up his bum, pulled them out and then ate them.'
' That doesn't surprise me,' replied the man.
' He still eats everything in sight, but ever since he had to pass that cue ball, he measures everything first !'